Confessions
by tiannahjade
Summary: Piper might choose Alex, but it takes two to tango.
1. Chapter 1

Piper sits tentatively beside Alex.

'_I pick him. I pick Larry'_ she thinks. She knows that's the right thing to do. He's the safe choice. He can offer her so much security, so much love - but adventure? No. None of that. Apart from him driving her upstate to surrender, they'd scarcely visited anywhere outside New York City. Connecticut occasionally.

But Alex. She has so much more. Despite her physical appeal, which let's be honest hasn't aged a day since they were first together, she has nothing tactile to offer her - not a safe home in the suburbs. But she has love - a mad, pure, chemical love like nothing Piper has ever felt before. She knows she could never feel this way about Larry. Before she knows it the words have spilled out of her mouth.

"I pick you. I pick you, Alex."

Alex stares at her for a moment, disbelieving.

"Did Larry leave you?" she asks.

"No. But I'm going to leave him. He offered me an ultimatum - I can have him, and only him, or I can have you. I told him that a relationship based on ultimatums was not one I wanted to be part of. But he gave me some forms to fill out. A marriage license. Anyway, I tore it up. I don't need his promises of safety and what he calls 'love'. Its ownership and that's not enough for me. I want you Alex. So please, give me this chance to do it right." She looks at Alex, her eyes filled with nothing but unabashed pleading and a beg for her understanding.

Alex did not answer her. She merely pushed her glassed higher on her nose, returning them to their original state, before standing up and swiftly walking away, leaving Piper both hurt and flabbergasted.

Its not long before Piper catches up to her. Alex yanks her arm away harshly under Piper's firm grip.

"What the fuck, Alex? I choose YOU!"

Alex turned to her, a look of cold detachment nestling comfortably in every crevice of her voice.

"Yeah, you picked me, Piper. That doesn't mean I picked you."

Piper grabs her arm again as she tries to walk away. She notices her vision has blurred, not realising that she has begun to cry.

"Alex, please." She's sobbing now as she uses her hold on Alex's arm to support her from collapsing in a heap on the linoleum floor of the recreation room.

"Do not come to me, ever. Not until I tell you. IF I tell you to. You may not come to me before then."

And with one final heave her arm vacates the confines of Piper's grip, which has softened from the intensity of her tearful confession, Alex turns swiftly on her heel and saunters away, leaving her ex-girlfriend tear-stained, and utterly desolate.

**So this is my first ever fanfic, and after reading sooooooo many I thought I'd try my hand at it. Not sure if I'll stick at it, but I would love any and all constructive criticism, so please review! I hope you at least kind of enjoyed it :)**


	2. Chapter 2

Piper's bunk felt cold that night. It was spring in Litchfield, but she surely hadn't put the iciness down to the weather. She missed Alex. She missed the love she gave her. Piper was still shaken by their confrontation earlier that day, and couldn't escape the swirling thoughts that invaded her mind. _She love me, she loves me not, she loves me..._she loves me not.

It didn't help that there had been an incident at that Christmas pageant. That fucking meth-head Pennsatucky had gone and got themselves shanked by one of the Spanish Mamis. Something to do with Doggett calling her food "Satan's shit". Punches were thrown, nothing too serious, but serious enough that Piper was glad she stayed well clear of it. At any rate, both got sent down the hill for god knows how long.

Alex hadn't looked at her. Not once. They were seated diagonally from each other, so Alex need only turn her head slightly to the right, and their gazes would have locked. Piper didn't take her eyes off her, just in case. But she needn't have bothered. Alex wasn't going to look for her. She wasn't going to come to her, at least not yet. But what if she never did? The thought of surviving the rest of her time in prison without Alex scared her to the point of hyperventilation, so how could she imagine life after Litchfield without her? She knew she would have to wait for Alex, who had a much longer sentence, but she knew she could wait forever if she had to. As long as she knew she had her.

Piper drifted into an uneasy sleep, with the memories of that first night. The first night she ever fell asleep in Alex's arms.

**Alex rolled off of Piper's body, both thoroughly sweat-drenched and sated. Alex stared across at her from the other side of the bed, looking deep into her eyes. It was as if she was searching for something. Like she needed some sort of sign from her lover, though a sign for what, Piper was unsure. She smiled at Alex and let out a small laugh, which prompted the taller woman to join in, smiling bigger even than Piper. **

**"That was nice" Piper said with a wink in her voice.**

**"Mmm, you know it" Alex replied with a mixture of cockiness and sass, which earned her a soft slap on her arm from the blonde.**

**Before Piper could say anything else, Alex was kissing her again. The feeling of her soft, warm lips against hers was something she knew she could never tire of. She let out a small, yet audible gasp as Alex tongue slipped between her lips and danced swirled with her own. Now THAT was something she could never get sick of. She could feel a wet heat beginning between her legs and started to grind her pussy against Alex's thigh. When she heard her groan, she took that as her cue and rolled on top of Alex, straddling her hips, not for one second breaking their kiss.**

**Alex laughed briefly, but it died on her lips as Piper began to knead her breasts with soft caresses, and roll her hard nipples between agile and deft fingers. Piper began to kiss down her lover's taking extra care to plant hard kisses along her jawline, just where she knew she loved it. When she reached her breasts, she nipped at them softly with her teeth before taking one into her mouth and flicking her tongue against it and sucking hard before releasing it with a soft popping sound.**

**Alex's previous laugh had transformed into a pant of need, and when Piper looked up, Alex's eyes were screaming their beg: please fuck me, they said, now.**

**Piper was very happy to oblige. She moved herself further down the bed, and further down Alex's body and nestled between her long legs. Before long, she dipped two fingers into Alex's sex, both women moaning as Piper felt just how wet she was, staring at her swollen clit. Piper began to curl her fingers inside Alex, hitting she spot she knew she loved, which Alex confirmed through moans of pleasure and squirming. Before long, Alex grabbed Piper by her hair, and began to push her face down towards her sex, and she knew what she wanted. The first lick was a long slide from her ass to above her clit, which sent shivers through both women's bodies. Fuck, Alex tasted so good. The next was more purposeful, extending from her opening to her clit, stopping there to swirl around in circles around her engorged bulb. Piper returned her two fingers into Alex's sex and pumped her fingers hard inside her, and brought Alex to a screaming orgasm, expertly cleaning up her mess with her tongue as Alex rode her full climax, still pulling Piper's hair as she did.**

**It took Alex a moment before she calmed down. When she did, Piper crawled back up to her end of the bed and cuddled close to her, and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. **

**"That was nice, kid" Alex told her.**

**"Mmm, you know it" Piper responded, mocking her lover. Alex laughed and shifted her weight.**

**"Wanna be my little spoon?" She asked. Piper didn't reply. She merely rolled over, and backed herself into Alex's waiting arms, and fell asleep, not thinking about anything but Alex's warmth, and just Alex.**

Piper's sleep was broken by a shout.

"Blondie! Wakey-wakey!" Nicky yelled.

Piper rolled over to face her, frowning, and lifted an arm to try to swat her away, which unsurprisingly Nicky dodged with ease.

"What the fuck, Nichols. No need to shout." She grumbled.

"Sure there is, Luschek needs us in now, he's got a job for us, says its urgent." Nicky said as she pulled Piper's covers off and began to drag her out of bed.

"Alright, alright I'm coming, jesus..."

Nicky threw an apple on her bed, and when Piper looked at her confused she explained.

"You're missing breakfast Blondie, gotta get something in you. And if it isn't Vause, it might as well be this" Nicky teased with a wink.

"Fuck off Nichols." Piper finally pulled her khaki shirt over her head and trenched out of the cube, with Nicky trailing close behind her as they made their way to the electric shop.

"What, trouble in paradise? Last I checked you two were going at it like rabbits!"

Piper rolled her eyes dramatically at Nicky's assessment and gave a non-committal nod before finally saying "I don't want to talk about this with you."

"Awh, come on! If you don't you know Vause will!" Piper knew Nicky was right, but that didn't stop her from ignoring all of her prodding, invasive questions, including asking whether one of them had herpes.

"All I'm saying is tell me which fucking shower ya'll use, you know?"

Finally, Piper actually laughed at Nicky's prompts, and the girl with the crazy hair smiled too, albeit it all being short-lived, as they had finally reach the electric shop, where neither of them were pleased to see Luschek, an hour earlier than usual no less.

When he spotted them, he stood up and tossed two tool belts at them.

"Laundry. Broken dryer. Fix." was all he said before turning his attention back to the matter at hand; which at this grunting roughly at an ESPN update on his smartphone. Piper had never pegged him as the sporting type. How wrong she was. But that wasn't really what perturbed her most right now. She had to go to the laundry, where she was certain Alex was on duty. Did this count? She couldn't help it, Luschek sent her! It wouldn't be fair of Alex to get mad at her because of this.

Piper walked disgruntledly and without motivation behind Nicky, who was all but dragging her along by the hair to hurry.

"Come on, the sooner we fix it, the sooner we can get out of there. Which for the record, I don't know why you're soon keen to, because last I heard ya'll were-"

"Yeah, yeah, fucking like rabbits" Piper cut her off exasperatedly.

"I was gonna say 'one dress short of a wedding', but if you say so, Chapman" Nicky said, and added a wink and a smirk for good measure.

They walked into the laundry, and Piper spotted Alex immediately. She was standing behind her bench next to the closest dryer, folding pillow covers, and didn't look up until Nicky shouted "Vause!"

"I hear you got a broken dryer, Miss" Nicky said seductively.

"Oh god, not that shit again, Nichols!" she laughed, "the broken one's in the back, Myra again, with whom I'm sure you're both well acquainted" Alex gestured towards Piper, and her heart soared. This feeling did not even diminish when Alex continue to ignore her for the rest of their stay, She chatted lightly with Nicky as they worked, and directed the story of the damage to Nicky only, but Piper didn't care. Alex had spoken to her.

Maybe this wasn't going to be as bad as she thought. Nicky dragged her out of her daze, muttering something about Red needing her in the kitchen. It wasn't until Nicky left that Piper realised she and Alex were the only ones left in the laundry.

Piper was cautious, and stared at Alex for a long time before she spoke, to see if she would speak first.

" Alex, I-" but she was cut off.

"Don't." was all Alex said. Piper nodded and bit back her tears, focusing her energy into fixing the dryer.


	3. Chapter 3

**Alex's POV**

Alex slowly folded the pillow slips straight form the dryer and began to compile them in front of her. She should probably be working faster, as they were already one dryer down as Myra had broken again, and they needed all the dryers the could get their hands on. But Alex was preoccupied with thoughts of Piper, and everything she had said yesterday.

She picked _Alex._

For some reason, she couldn't say it back. It was exactly what she wanted to hear, but at the same time, she couldn't believe it. Surely Piper will pull another Piperesque move in a year when she left Litchfield, and she wouldn't want Alex anymore. How was Alex to know she could trust her to keep picking her, even when things got hard? She's left once before, and Alex wouldn't be surprised to see her do it again.

And let's face it, its not like Alex was really shown how to have blind faith and trust in her life. The father she never really knew, who always served as a beacon of hope and light in the darkness of her bullied and impoverished childhood, who turned out to be completely useless. Fahri was right when he said some people are better in the abstract. The worst part was, once Alex knew what her father was really like, she couldn't hold on to the old hopes she had, she couldn't even pretend anymore that one day he would come by and whisk her away somewhere and save her from her life. That wasn't to say she didn't adore her mother and everything she did for her, but no matter what she did, she couldn't stop the cruel taunts at school about her shoes and clothes by those fucking rich bitches.

Her mother was the only constant in her life. But even then, she had to die on her, way before her time.

So no. Alex didn't know how to put her trust in someone. Not properly and completely. But then there's Piper who is asking for exactly that. The WASPy girl who always wanted the house in the suburbs, kids and a comfortable, boring, life. And now she expects Alex to believe that she is willing to give up what she has wanted for so long, so free fall through life with her? She is right to have her reservations, she thinks.

At the pageant last night she could feel Piper's eyes burning a hole in her cheek. She didn't dare to look, but she felt the presence of her gaze, warm, hurt and loving all in one. She had to force herself to keep her eyes forward, and to not look back into those beautiful blue eyes she had learnt so well over the years, which never left her mind, not for a single day.

Just as she began to wonder what was taking electric so damn long to get here and fix the dryer, her thoughts were answered in the shape of Nicky, and just her luck, Piper too. She greeted Nicky, and told her what had happened with Myra, all the while sneaking occasional glances at Piper who was determined not to look at her, for which Alex was almost grateful. The pair walked behind her to the dryer and began pulling out tools and dryer tidbits, before setting to work on the machine. It reminded Alex of the time Piper had tried to fix their toaster with a hot glue gun. She was so determined that they not have to buy a new one that she wouldn't let Alex throw it out. She worked on it for two hours, and finally got it to stay together in working order. Until Piper's toast popped up, the force of which caused it to implode and fall in pieces again. Alex had laughed so much that day. They bought a new one the next day, much to Piper's annoyance.

Norma walked around the corner then, and began throwing peanuts at her. Alex looked up and yelled "what the fuck?" and soon noticed Norma, who pointed at Nicky, and began motioning for her to follow. Alex called out Nicky's name and nodded in Norma's direction. Alex heard her mutter a few words to Piper before she walked out of the laundry, all the while cursing Norma and her irrational fear of the spin cycle.

The second Nicky left Alex realised she and Piper were alone together. She too, could sense that Piper was waiting, though she wasn't sure if she was waiting to speak, or for Alex to speak. She remembered they would have moments like these years ago, when they would both be covered in complete silence. Those silences though, were comfortable, not tense and awkward. In those days, Alex would look over at Piper who would already be looking at her with lust in her eyes. All she would need to do is raise and eyebrow, or lift the corner of her mouth in an almost smirk to summon Piper to her.

**Alex sat quietly on the futon with a book in her hand. She had began reading 'Mrs Dalloway', much due to Piper's insistence than Virginia Woolf was a genius. She had to admit she was thoroughly enjoying it, though it differed to her usual taste. She lifted her eyes to Piper who was on the other side of the futon, having dropped her book to her lap and was watching Alex. That is, if 'watching' includes watching her breasts move gracefully up and down in time with her breathing. Piper must have sensed Alex's eyes on her, as she moved her upwards to meet her lover's, who mouthed "come here" and gestured with a curled finger.**

**Piper slid coyly across the sofa, sitting next to her and looking at Alex smugly, and mocking.**

**"Is this close enough?" she purred.**

**Alex reached across and lifted the blonde onto her lap. Piper gasped at the unexpected movement and wrapped her legs around Alex as she slid into her position above the brunette.**

**"That's a little better" Alex whispered in a husky voice, which Piper knew she was fighting to control. Piper knew that if she slid her hand into Alex's panties she would, already, meet a slick wetness.**

**"How about this?" Piper taunted as she slipped off Alex's lap onto the floor and reached over to slide Alex's panties off from underneath the skirt she wore. Alex didn't often wear skirts and dresses just around the house like Piper did, but Piper loved seeing her in one. She looked enticingly girly and made it so much easier for her to take her woman like she was now. Alex took her lead and pulled her skirt up her body, making it easier for Piper to slide a finger across her slit, not entering the delicious folds. She continued to suck and lick every part of Alex's thighs and around her sex, never touching the needy, hot flesh. Alex had had enough and pulled Piper up to her, back on her lap again, and put a hand between her legs. When he hand met Piper's panties, who tugged with all her might and tore one side enough for her to slip two fingers inside Piper and pump.**

**It didn't take long before Alex felt Piper's insides contract and tighten around her fingers, and hear Piper's vocal confirmation that she was coming on her fingers. The sound of Piper growling out her orgasm caused Alex's already throbbing need to beg for release. Alex pulled her fingers out of Piper's wetness and brought them to her mouth, sucking every drop of Piper from them, before dipping them back down between her own legs, and massaging her own clit.**

**Piper realised what she was doing and gasped, and began to grind her sex on Alex's thigh and kiss the neck. These sensations only added to Alex's pleasure, which manifested in her own orgasm, more intense than any other when she masturbated. The two women stayed that way for a long time, catching their breaths.**

**"Hey, kid." Alex whispered. Piper lifted her head with and inquisitive look in her eye.**

**"Yeah?"**

**"I love y-"**

Alex's memory was interrupted by a voice, which she instantly recognised to be Piper's.

"Alex, I-" but it was Alex's turn to interrupt this time.

"Don't." _Don't, kid._

_Please don't leave me._

**Hello! I know I'm updating regularly, I'm trying really hard to procrastinate because I'm in the middle of exams, and I'm really excited that I'm finally trying this out. I don't know if you noticed, but I'm trying not to make Alex seem like too much of a top, even though she may seem like it in the show, I like to think that earlier in their relationship Piper was less of a bottom. Let me know if you think this works, if not I might try to revise it a bit :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Piper's POV:**

Besides from the occasional cursory glance across the cafeteria at meal times, Piper and Alex hadn't seen or heard of each other since the time they shared in the laundry three days earlier.

Piper was still wondering what it was that Alex was so upset about, while in turn her ex-girlfriend was struggling to divulge this information. Piper knew Alex had some issues, but nothing she couldn't speak to Piper about - they had always shared everything.

Or had they?

Piper always shared everything with Alex, but was this a two-way deal? Piper had no real way of determining this. Maybe Alex didn't trust her with her deepest secrets. But Piper had never given her any reason not to trust her, had she? Piper was sure she hadn't.

**Alex's POV:**

Alex could see Piper sat quietly across the cafeteria from her. She was flanked by Yoga Jones and Morello, and she could clearly see she wasn't listening to what her companions were laughing loudly, and almost obnoxiously, if she didn't know them better. Alex wondered what she was thinking about. She hated herself when she thought like that. It wasn't any of her business what Piper was thinking, and this extended both ways. But she couldn't help wondering. Besides, she was _her_ Piper.

Correction, _was_ her Piper. Now she was just Piper. Not even Larry's Piper. No one's Piper.

This didn't sit well with her, but what choice did she have?

**Piper's POV:**

Piper lifted her eyes from her uneaten food and focused ahead of her, catching a short glance at Alex before she quickly returned her eyes to what was on the table, lest Alex should catch her staring.

Piper was sick of waiting for Alex. Sure, a few days out of more than a year wasn't much, but considering their history Piper never imagined she would need such a long time to decide what she wanted. She gave her whole heart to Alex that day in the library, and Alex threw it back in her face, and over what? She picked Alex, not Larry. What more was to it?

Piper saw Alex stand and bus her tray in her peripheral vision. Piper herself then stood quickly and followed suit, increasing her pace to its fastest without attracting the attention of the COs, which would undoubtedly result in a pat-down, causing her to miss a golden opportunity.

She caught Alex in the hallway only a few dozen yards from the entrance to the cafeteria.

"Alex!" she called to the brunettes retreating back.

"Piper, I said-"

"I know what you said Alex. But I can't. Don't you get it? I can't be away from you. I did it for eight long years, and even then there wasn't a day that went by that you didn't go through my mind, no matter how big or small. And now that we are here, and we have each other again, regardless of what has happened, we should be together. I need you. And I think somewhere, deep down even, you need me too." Piper said quickly and breathlessly, as if she thought she would lose her nerve if she didn't blurt it all out before she could process what she was saying.

Alex just stared at her blankly.

"Alex! At least acknowledge me when I speak." Piper spat venomously, which was followed by Alex turning on her heel and continuing her journey along the hallway to her dorm. Piper ran behind her, completely unable to grasp the situation. When they got to Alex's cube, which she was currently sharing with a new girl, Cherry, Alex grabbed her toiletries and headed towards the showers.

"Really Alex, you'd rather shower than try to be an adult about this?" Piper asked her as she walked into the bathroom adjoining B and C dorms. That was it. Alex threw her shower things on the sink and turned to Piper, her usually loving eyes showing nothing but contempt.

"I don't have faith in us. Whatever 'us' is, or whatever we think 'we' can become in here, I don't believe in it."

"But Alex, how could you say that, after everything we've-"

"Exactly! That's exactly it, Pipes! We have a history. I know you. _I know you._ I know that no matter how much you say you love me, the second things get hard, you bail. And when you walk out of here in a year, and you find out I still have fifteen more years to serve, that's hard." Alex's voice broke as she said the last few words, and she turned her head away from Piper, but it didn't fool the blonde. Alex didn't cry in front of just anyone. Or anyone at all, really. But she could always cry with Piper when she needed, not that she often did.

"Alex, this isn't like that. I did love you. But I guess part of me thought you were just my...my post-college adventure phase. But now, I know we're real. What we had then, that was the real deal, and I threw it away because I thought I saw newer, shinier things waiting for me, when really I traded in a Mercedes for a broken-down pick up truck."

Alex looked back up at Piper, tears still brimming her eyes, threatening to break free at a moment's notice.

"You doubted us. You're allowed to doubt us. And I guess you're allowed to run away when you do. So why won't you extend to me that courtesy? I let you go all those years ago, why won't you let me go now, for doubting us?" Alex was half criticising and half heartbrokenly begging Piper.

Piper frowned slightly. Not really a scowl, but more of a confused gesture, as if she too were asking herself this question, and was looking for the exact way to answer it. She closed the gap between herself and the brunette, and pushed a stray strand of hair from her face behind her ear, causing Alex to visibly flinch and audibly gasp at the intimate action in such a tense situation. It was a good few minutes before Piper actually answered the question that could have been interpreted as rhetorical, if Piper didn't actually have her reasons.

"Because," she began cautiously, watching Alex to gauge her reaction, "I have enough faith in us for both of us. When you don't want to, or don't know how to believe in us, I can believe in us for you. Because I am so sure of how I feel about you, that I could never think about what life would be without you. And I know deep down you can forgive me."

"You just don't fucking get it. You can't take responsibility for anything you've done, to the point where you don't even understand why I don't trust you. You think you can fix it with your faith? I need more than that. I need you to understand. I need you to apologise, and _really _mean it. Do you get that?"

That really threw Piper. Alex was staring at her, as if waiting for some kind of vocal confirmation that she understood, and would indulge her, but Piper was speechless. Alex sighed and walked into the shower cubicle, leaving Piper standing there alone.

Piper walked back to her cube where women had begun to return to after dinner. Her cube was next to Taystee's, and she nodded her acknowledgement at her as she passed and slinked quietly into her own cube, thinking about what Alex had said. It was this that aided her gradual release into sleep, short lived as it was before dawn broke, shedding whole new light on the situation that was, now, her life.


End file.
